Addendum
8/30/2022
I am a person that never dreams, if I do I have no memories when I wake.
This morning I did have a memory of a dream, Something woke me at 2:30am, I am sitting in my car on a highway ,no cars passing, just me in my car, I am squinting watching a figure in the distance coming my way, trying to see the face it was if I was blind, the closer the figure comes, it is still not clear. I was suddenly startled with a tap on my window, tap, tap, tap… I hesitated and then push the button to open the window. There stood a man with a big grin on his face, his face is bright, round, eyes sparkling. He had a blue polo type shirt, jeans, no glasses, teeth sparkling, his body was fit, he had hair. He comes forward toward my face and speaks. ” Don’t you recognize me”? My eyes look intensely into his eyes, “Jackie?” Tears start to run down my face and I cried out. “I miss you so much”, “I love you”. And as fast as I said that, he was gone. When I woke up at 7:00am, I thought it was real, I remembered every moment, and then, I knew it happened.
Jack came to tell me he was ok and I would see him again, in a different life. It helps to know that when we leave this earth we can look forward to seeing our love ones that took that journey before us. It seems less frightening.
It was a great dream.. Thanks Jack. Love, your Sister Carla..
Without warning, I think of my brother, something that is said, or I see in a vision of the past, but one thing that is certain, to think of my brother I think of our Mother.
Our Mother shaped we 3 siblings into the adults we are today. My sisters and I loved our Mother so very much. We never think of Mother with a negative thought, only with love, but I think my brother loved her in a different and deeper way. Jack was the man of the house when Daddy was at work, he and Mother would take care of the farm. Daddy worked at night so he would rise early to start plowing or planting. Jack would go to high school and return on the school bus, greeted by Mother with food for his nourishment and a hand from her to get on the tractor to help finish what Daddy started. Mother would watch him up and down each row, row after row until dark. She never looked away. So afraid that Jack would get hurt, worried that it was too much for a boy to do. He should be having more fun, too young to be working so hard, but Jack never complained. Jack was a good student, good grades, and an athletic. Everyone liked our brother, not boastrious, but thoughtful and funny. I know he wanted to go to college, but never had the opportunity. Always thinking not to demand or really tell anyone what he wanted but to be sure he did not stress his parents and make them feel sad about what they could not financially provide.Though, Jack was married and lived 45 minutes from Mother, he would appear every Saturday, to see our Mother, sitting at the old oak kitchen table, talking about his week, laughing, and sometimes crying. I would drop by on some Saturdays and join in with the conversation, always laughing and gossiping with a Jack, loved those moments with my brother.
My husband and I had a pizza restaurant and we needed young honest youths to help wash dishes, make the pizzas, take the orders and greet the guests. Jack had a young son, I think he was 14 or 15, and we hired him to bus the tables. Jack would drive him to the Pizza restaurant every Friday night, sit in a booth and watch him work, many times I would just sit with Jack and talk. He instructed his son on how to work, and be a good honest employee. He was shaping him into a good citizen, which he had proved to be in adulthood. Jack is a good Father.
I moved away, leaving my Mother and siblings, and my only relief, Jack would be there. When Mother was passing, he was right there with my sisters, driving her to doctors appointments, sitting with her, holding her hand. Jack was there, he never flinched.
Jack’s faith has been an important part of his life, but his family takes first place. We all remembered when he chose retirement to become his grandchildren child care provider. Dance classes, sports games, you name it, he was there for them. His children were so lucky and thankful that he was there to help them during the busiest time of a young family’s life, PaPa was there! He was lucky too, to witness the growth and all the deep emotions that happened everyday with his little girls.
Like me, our life’s have again taken a turn, the turn we always knew would come, really “old age”. Our bodies have changed, aches and pains and all that goes with growing older, but no regrets. One thing that never change, is my deep admiration and love of my brother.
I love my brother and admire him for the love and true goodness that he shows in the life he lives. So when I think of a good man, I think of my brother Jack.
Love you Jack!!
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