Author: agranlife

Look at that face!  Who could resist such a sweet lovable little guy.??  No one!   But let me share the real story of Teddy.

Theodore was born in 2004.  He was my Christmas present.  I was so excited to have him join our lives. What a tiny little guy,  7 lbs of bones.  I had this crazy thought when he joined the family, he would  sleep in his crate, go outside to pee and poop and eat dry dog food.  Well, like any child, they tend to tell us what they will do. How terrible could it be if he sleeps under the covers, eat table food and pees on the rug ( big mistake to have puppy pads).

Teddy is a loner and prefers to have all the attention from me.  He never plays, chasing a ball is totally foreign ,  he looks at it roll by and walks the other way.  He rarely sits for his treat, he prefers me to throw the treat in the air, let it land and then he circles the treat like herding a cow as fast as possible, then grabs treat and runs to his bed to either hide it or eat it.  Weird little dog!

When Teddy wants something, such as dinner, treats, or a walk, he starts to sneeze, shake his head,or jumps in your lap and paws you until you respond.  He either wants a treat, ice cream, or maybe  a filet or chicken.  We are at the mercy of his desires.  When Teddy starts this routine, I don’t hear the sneeze as much as I hear “Hey, guys, get up and get my dinner, but I really want ice cream before dinner”. The look he gives you because you selected dinner instead of ice cream, is priceless, a face of disgust, turns around and walks away.  He goes to the couch and starts the sneezing again, until I walk back into the kitchen and pick another option, such as ice cream, he even walks away from that because its too cold.    Next, it’s time for the walk. Is his halter on?,  is it too cold?, put  on his sweater, as he tries to wait patiently, he stammers  back and forth, very excited.  If I am too slow, the sneezing starts again, which actually he is saying, ” come on, lets go, I need to pee and smell every tree, every stone, corner of every bench, you better hurry or I will pee now”  lets go!!

We are now in the park, he starts the peeing that seems to be endless.  Teddy lifts his leg so high, he has fallen over,  funny to watch him try to balance.  He will stop his pee suddenly, lift his head high to view the entire park, looking for any undesirables, such as squirrels, rabbits, dogs, even a few people that gives him a bad vibe.  Soon we are on our way again.  The park is a circle with pave walks to the center.  We walk each path, he is always on the pavement  until he needs to pee, or chase a squirrel, then he jumps on the grass.   This daily routine is fun for him and me. He listens to me complain about whatever and doesn’t seem to mind my whining,  in fact, I don’t think he is listening.  That’s a little hurtful.

Ted has been certified as my ESA (emotional support animal), 😉😉😉. He wears a collar that allows him to fly and stay in hotels.   I have been thinking about this.  I should wear the collar, I just realized I am his ESA companion.

I have to admit,  I love that little tyrant!!!

Since I wrote this, my little tyrant passed, 2021. He is so missed..

John and I traveled to NY for a weekend of dining, shopping and people watching, while sitting at the sidewalk cafes.  We have such a great time relaxing and talking during these weekends. This particular weekend brought us to some interesting conversations with complete strangers.

Just a smile or a hello to a waiter, a woman walking her dog, a manager overseeing his crew, as they hustle in a crowded restaurant, can release confessions, stories of their desires and stories of their love ones.

Several months ago, John and I enjoyed a visit to a pub, featuring brewed beer. It was a late lunch, I was starving. The manager greeted us, the server was busy, and he seated us, while John was asking questions.  How long have you been opened? How long have you been managing? How many hours do you work a week?  Questions after questions, but he answered, and seemed happy someone was interested.  We ordered, enjoyed every bite.  The manager  was on his cell phone  for a few minutes, and after ending the conversation, he came to our table, excited and smiling.  “I just spoke with a customer and friend, and she is moving from her apartment and wants me to sublett!!!”  “Perfect, it has a small yard for my kids, and only walking distance from the pub.”  “its a miracle”. We were excited  for him and asked questions about the new apartment, he knew every square inch of the space, just a few legal “things” had to be worked out.  We left,  having had a wonderful meal and conversation.

Easter weekend, we drove again to NY, it was beautiful bright sunny weekend, we love NY visits, with no real plans, just the usual, looking for parking, hauling luggage from the car and checking out the area.  To some it sounds crazy, enjoying all the challenging efforts, just to get settle, but to us, its another adventure! As usual, I am hungry, so off we go in the neighborhood, looking for food. Without a specific location in mind, we were so pleased to find we were only a couple blocks from the pub, that we enjoyed weeks before.  This time, they had sidewalk tables, the sun had brought out many people to enjoy the day. People were talking back and forth, laughing, eating, and drinking, wearing sunshades to protect from the glare of the bright sun!! It could not get much better.  Except, when Mothers  with Easter hats,  walking to the Easter Parade with their children and  their creative decorated hats. That was a site!

John and I waited for a table outside, and we were so surprised, when the manager, from weeks ago, with menus in his hand, found the perfect table for us.  We had our usual, if you can say usual, since this was only the second time we were at the pub. After we consumed our usual, we just sat in the sun and just watched the groups of people walk by.  When the lunch crowd left, leaving some open tables, the manager came by and joined us in conversation.  Of course, we asked about the apartment. The apartment is still possible, he tells us, but that was not the focus of what was really on his mind. His face was much more strained, between his eyes was that deep frown that we are all familiar, with just a question, his deep thoughts, came brusting out.  He shared that he was a single  parent,  caring for two young children.  His ex-wife had become addicted to opioids, and left them for  the addiction.  While, he was at work, she came to their home and took the kids, and left him searching for them.  Private detectives found them in Ct.    he was relieved that the kids were ok but  so angry, worried about the kids.  Weeks have passed and he has not seen the children, hiring attorneys to charge his exwife with  kidnapping.  After negotiations and cash, she has decide to give him full custody.   John and I were loss for words, what do you say?, only words of encouragement, as we all know, their are two sides of the story and we were hearing only one. We both realized, we were his sounding board, knowing that we would not judge but just listen to the story, a story that he could tell to strangers and express his frustrations and we would not share with anyone that he knew.  We were safe.

When people talk about their most personal situations with complete strangers, it  is an admission that they are vunerable and scared.  So many of us, just want someone to listen and be heard.  Hopefully, John and I did that for him on a perfect sunny day in NY.

It was time to leave NY for home.  Our drive will take a few hours but our plans are to stop if we find anything interesting to see.  Within an hour of our departure, we stopped at a reststop, John and I were both sleepy,so we took a blanket from the trunk and spread it under a huge tree, down on our backs watching the breeze blow through the leaves of the trees.   It did not take long before our eyes were heavy and we fell into a light sleep.

We both lifted our heads at the same moment, when we heard a dog bark.  A small white mixed breed, looking at us along with his owner.  A tall woman with running shoes, ball cap, and light jacket.   Her name is  Mary .  “So sorry to wake you”   Of course it was ok, ” no problem, we were just resting” .  Then the questions began from my dear sweetheart, John.   “We are traveling to Western Mass., and you?” Question, question, question…   She was traveling to Connecticut, from a visit with her niece.  Mary is married, her husband is living in the carribean, year round, which was not her idea of a perfect retirement.  She would return to Ct during the spring and summer to visit her neice,  she did not have any children, and her niece is very special to her .  Her niece’s mother and her sister, was not the best of parents.  She had addiction issues and had left her daughter stranded at times.  Mary wanted to be there for her niece when she felt overwhelmed and alone.  Mary also had a strong need to be with her niece.

Mary had worked 30 years for a manufacturing company in Ct., and was happy she was able to retire with a “pretty good” pension.  She and her husband are healthy, and thankful for that.  Her husband rarely returns to the United States,  he is happy and enjoys his new friends, the new foods, the water and  of course,” no snow”.  He does  not feel the draw to return like Mary.  Mary gets bored with the total relaxation that retirement offers,  so she comes home as much as possible.   I thought to myself,  she should not retire. Mary misses her life.

It was getting late and it was time to go.  We gathered our blanket and wished Mary a safe trip home.

The last hour of our drive was not eventful, just  John and I reviewing the details of the weekend and the fun time we had together just hanging out in NY..  can’t wait to go back…

I am the Grandmother of a talented, smart, loving young woman, Kendell Kamansky. She will be graduating soon from College, and I could not be more proud.
When asked to write a sentimental memory of Kendell, I remembered the special moments in our lives instantly.
When Kendell was around 3 or 4 years old, she and her Mother lived with me and her grandfather, Pa.   Kendell’s Mom worked from 3pm until midnight week days,  and Pa and I worked days, which allowed us to help with Kendell in the evenings.  Kendell’s Mom sometimes would drop her off at a daycare center, located in the town that I worked. With a carseat in the back, at 5:05 pm, I would drive to the daycare and load that little girl into the carseat. Buckling children in carseats, is one of the most difficult responsibility that a grandparent has, but I learned and we did live through our 15 minute trips home.
Kendell always was cranky on the drive, whining , crying, something was always upsetting her. So I decided to sing louder than she could cry. I tried nursery songs, which were boring, and she thought so too. So I started making up songs from parts of old songs I heard over the years. The songs were not appropriate for a young child, but I sang them anyway, just to stop the crying. Kendell liked the silly songs and screamed when I stopped. So, I was singing so loud, I was sure the cars beside us at the stop lights could hear..

Once home, we cooked dinner and watched Tv. Kendell loved to read , so we did our best to read as many books as possible before bedtime. Her room was a little girl’s room with stuff animals everywhere, pink and lavender walls, on the ceiling we had put the “glow in the dark ” stars and moon, bright enough she did not need a night light.
Bedtime was special, I would bathe her and she would put on her “ sleeping beauty” pajamas. Down the stairs she would go and kiss Pa goodnight, but he would grab her up and carry her upstairs, just like “Sleeping Beauty”, her long hair would fall down her shoulders onto the floor. I would walk behind to watch how she closed her eyes tight.  We would shower her with kisses and then she would giggle.  I would stay and read one more book and soon her eyes would close for the night, just like “Sleeping Beauty”.
I still can see her hair flowing over Pa’s arm as he walked each step to her room.
These were special moments for grandparents, moments so simple, you don’t realize they are so special, until they are gone.

Kendell’s life will be filled with so many special moments, that they will be too many to count.
This is just the beginning for our “Sleeping Beauty” .

Love you, Kendell

Granna

Addendum

8/30/2022

I am a person that never dreams, if I do I have no memories when I wake.

This morning I did have a memory of a dream, Something woke me at 2:30am, I am sitting in my car on a highway ,no cars passing, just me in my car, I am squinting watching a figure in the distance coming my way, trying to see the face it was if I was blind, the closer the figure comes, it is still not clear. I was suddenly startled with a tap on my window, tap, tap, tap… I hesitated and then push the button to open the window. There stood a man with a big grin on his face, his face is bright, round, eyes sparkling. He had a blue polo type shirt, jeans, no glasses, teeth sparkling, his body was fit, he had hair. He comes forward toward my face and speaks. ” Don’t you recognize me”? My eyes look intensely into his eyes, “Jackie?” Tears start to run down my face and I cried out. “I miss you so much”, “I love you”. And as fast as I said that, he was gone. When I woke up at 7:00am, I thought it was real, I remembered every moment, and then, I knew it happened.

Jack came to tell me he was ok and I would see him again, in a different life. It helps to know that when we leave this earth we can look forward to seeing our love ones that took that journey before us. It seems less frightening.

It was a great dream.. Thanks Jack. Love, your Sister Carla..

Without warning, I think of my brother, something that is said, or I see in a vision of the past, but one thing that is certain, to think of my brother I think of our Mother. 

Our Mother shaped we 3 siblings into the adults we are today.    My sisters and I loved our Mother so very much.  We never think of Mother with a negative thought, only with love, but I think my brother loved her in a different and deeper way.  Jack was the man of the house when Daddy was at work, he and Mother would take care of the farm. Daddy worked at night so he would rise early to  start plowing or planting.  Jack would go to high school and return on the school bus, greeted by Mother with food for his nourishment and a hand from her to get on the tractor to help finish what Daddy started.  Mother would watch him up and down each row, row after row until dark. She never looked away. So afraid that Jack would get hurt, worried that it was too much for a boy to do.  He should be having more fun, too young to be working so hard, but Jack never complained.  Jack was a good student, good grades, and an athletic. Everyone liked our brother, not boastrious, but thoughtful and funny.  I know he wanted to go to college, but never had the opportunity. Always thinking not to demand or really tell anyone what he wanted but to be sure he did not stress his  parents and make them feel sad about what they could not financially provide.Though, Jack was married and lived 45 minutes from Mother, he would appear every Saturday, to see our Mother, sitting at the old oak kitchen table, talking about his week, laughing, and sometimes crying. I would drop by on some Saturdays and join in with the conversation, always laughing and gossiping with a Jack, loved those moments with my brother.  

My husband and I had a pizza restaurant and we needed young honest youths to help wash dishes, make the pizzas, take the orders and greet the guests. Jack had a young son, I think he was 14 or 15, and we hired him to bus the tables.  Jack would drive him to the Pizza restaurant every Friday night, sit in a booth and watch him work, many times I would just sit with Jack and talk.  He instructed his son on how to work, and be a good honest employee. He was shaping him into a good citizen, which he had proved to be in adulthood. Jack is a good Father.
I moved away, leaving my Mother and siblings, and my only relief,  Jack would be there. When Mother was passing, he was right there with my sisters,  driving  her to doctors appointments, sitting with her, holding her hand.  Jack was there, he never flinched.

Jack’s  faith has been an important part  of his life, but his family takes first place. We all remembered when he chose retirement to become his grandchildren child care provider.  Dance classes, sports games, you name it, he was there for them.  His children were so lucky and thankful that he was there to help them during the busiest time of a young family’s life, PaPa was there!  He was lucky too, to witness the growth and all the deep emotions that happened everyday with his little girls.  

Like me, our life’s have again taken a turn, the turn we always knew would come, really “old age”. Our bodies have changed, aches and pains and all that goes with growing older,  but no regrets.  One thing that never change, is my deep admiration and love of my brother.  

I love my brother and  admire him for the love and true goodness that he shows in the life he lives.  So when I  think  of a good man, I think of my brother Jack.

Love you Jack!!

Look at that face!  Who could resist such a sweet lovable little guy.??  No one!   But let me share the real story of Teddy.

Theodore was born in 2004.  He was my Christmas present.  I was so excited to have him join our lives. What a tiny little guy     7 lbs of bones.  I had this crazy thought when he joined the family, he would  sleep in his crate, go outside to pee and poop and eat dry dog food.  Well, like any child, they tend to tell us what they will do. How terrible could it be if he sleeps under the covers, eat table food and pees on the rug ( big mistake to have puppy pads).

Teddy is a loner and prefers to have all the attention from me.  He never plays, chasing a ball is totally foreign ,  he looks at it roll by and walk the other way.  He rarely sits for his treat, he prefers me to throw the treat in the air, let it land and then he circles the treat like herding a cow as fast as possible, then grabs treat and rubs to his bed to either hide it or eat it.  Weird little dog!

When Teddy wants something, such as dinner, treats, or a walk, he starts to sneeze, shake his head,or jumps in your lap and paws you until you respond.  He either wants a treat, ice cream, or maybe  a filet or chicken.  We are at the mercy of his desires.  When Teddy starts this routine, I don’t hear the sneeze as much as I hear “Hey, guys, get up and get my dinner, but I really want ice cream before dinner”. The look he gives you because you selected dinner instead of ice cream, is priceless, a face of disgust, turns around and walks away.  He goes to the couch and starts the sneezing again, until I walk back into the kitchen and pick another option, such as ice cream, he even walks away from that because it too cold.    Next, it’s time for the walk. Is his alter on?,  is it too cold?, put  on his sweater, as he tries to wait patiently, he stammers  back and forth, very excited.  If I am too slow, the sneezing starts again, which actually he is saying, ” come on, lets go, I need to pee and smell every tree, every stone, corner of every bench, you better hurry or I will pee now”  lets go!!

We are now in the park, he starts the peeing that seems to be endless.  Teddy lifts his leg so high, he has fallen over,  funny to watch him try to balance.  He will stop his pee suddenly, lift his head high to view the entire park, looking for any undesirables, such as squirrels, rabbits, dogs, even a few people that gives him a bad vibe.  Soon we are on our way again.  The park is a circle with pave walks to the center.  We walk each path, he is always on the pavement  until he needs to pee, or chase a squirrel, then he jumps on the grass.   This daily routine is fun for him and me. He listens to me complain about whatever and doesn’t seem to mine my whining,  in fact, I don’t think he is listening.  That’s a little hurtful.

Ted has been certified as my ESA (emotional support animal), 😉😉😉. He wears a collar that allows him to fly and stay in hotels.   I have been thinking about this.  I should wear the collar, I just realized I am his ESA companion.

I have to admit,  I love that little tyrant!!!

 2021 Teddy passed, broke our hearts. He was 17 years old.

Christmas is approaching  fast and the hustle and bustle is real.  The trees are decorated, plans are being made for parties, dinners and thoughts of all the surprises that would be bestowed on our loved ones.  Since my  preparation for 🎅 is not as time consuming as it use to be, I find myself remembering my youthful Christmases in Texas.

One special Christmase that I remember with love and happiness when I was a child..my older sister and brother with me, lived with our parents on a farm. Daddy farmed cotton, maise, corn and had a few head of cows.  Like everyone, Mother and Daddy worked really hard to provide.  We always had tasty meals, fresh vegetables from our garden, eggs from our chickens, and lots of love from our Mother’s hands.

I remember that Christmas morning when I was eight.  I woke before anyone else, entering  our small living room on my knees, excited to peeked at the presents.  My brother , Jack woke and joined me, waiting for our parents to wake.  Georgie, our teenage sister, was the last to wake from her sleep.

We  found our places in the living room,  excited to see what Santa left us.   Daddy sitting in his worn chair, Mother on the couch next to Georgie and me, Jack on the floor.  Then the lights came on.   Georgie opens a box containing a pair of loafers, Jack opened a little box with a knife inside, I am feeling anxious, where is mine? I am the baby, I should get mine first, but I did not see anything.  I thought I was a good girl all year long, What did I do that denied me of my Christmas present?  I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, I could not breathe.  Then like Santa, appeared from the kitchen was Daddy balancing a blue girl, 3 speed, English racer.  I could not believe it.  My dream came true, I was a good girl!!!  Daddy showed me every bell and whistle. I put my coat and shoes on and Daddy carried the bike outside.  I jumped on the bike and rode it round and round the yard.  I could not hug and kiss Mother and Daddy enough.

I remember in later years, what a wonderful present my parents gave me, in a time when surviving financially was so very hard. That bike cost at least $50.00!  It was such a big deal..

Love my simple country life..

Look at that face!  Who could resist such a sweet lovable little guy.??  No one!   But let me share the real story of Teddy.

Theodore was born in 2004.  He was my Christmas present.  I was so excited to have him join our lives. What a tiny little guy,  7 lbs of bones.  I had this crazy thought when he joined the family, he would  sleep in his crate, go outside to pee and poop and eat dry dog food.  Well, like any child, they tend to tell us what they will do. How terrible could it be if he sleeps under the covers, eat table food and pees on the rug ( big mistake to have puppy pads).

Teddy is a loner and prefers to have all the attention from me.  He never plays, chasing a ball is totally foreign ,  he looks at it roll by and walks the other way.  He rarely sits for his treat, he prefers me to throw the treat in the air, let it land and then he circles the treat like herding a cow as fast as possible, then grabs treat and runs to his bed to either hide it or eat it.  Weird little dog!

When Teddy wants something, such as dinner, treats, or a walk, he starts to sneeze, shake his head,or jumps in your lap and paws you until you respond.  He either wants a treat, ice cream, or maybe  a filet or chicken.  We are at the mercy of his desires.  When Teddy starts this routine, I don’t hear the sneeze as much as I hear “Hey, guys, get up and get my dinner, but I really want ice cream before dinner”. The look he gives you because you selected dinner instead of ice cream, is priceless, a face of disgust, turns around and walks away.  He goes to the couch and starts the sneezing again, until I walk back into the kitchen and pick another option, such as ice cream, he even walks away from that because its too cold.    Next, it’s time for the walk. Is his halter on?,  is it too cold?, put  on his sweater, as he tries to wait patiently, he stammers  back and forth, very excited.  If I am too slow, the sneezing starts again, which actually he is saying, ” come on, lets go, I need to pee and smell every tree, every stone, corner of every bench, you better hurry or I will pee now”  lets go!!

We are now in the park, he starts the peeing that seems to be endless.  Teddy lifts his leg so high, he has fallen over,  funny to watch him try to balance.  He will stop his pee suddenly, lift his head high to view the entire park, looking for any undesirables, such as squirrels, rabbits, dogs, even a few people that gives him a bad vibe.  Soon we are on our way again.  The park is a circle with pave walks to the center.  We walk each path, he is always on the pavement  until he needs to pee, or chase a squirrel, then he jumps on the grass.   This daily routine is fun for him and me. He listens to me complain about whatever and doesn’t seem to mind my whining,  in fact, I don’t think he is listening.  That’s a little hurtful.

Ted has been certified as my ESA (emotional support animal), 😉😉😉. He wears a collar that allows him to fly and stay in hotels.   I have been thinking about this.  I should wear the collar, I just realized I am his ESA companion.

I have to admit,  I love that little tyrant!!!

Personal awareness has been thrusts upon me, like a pie in my face, knife in my chest, a scream in my ear.  I need to change.  I need to re-invent my whole being.  Major changes in my thought process.  throw negativity out the window, find my brave heart, listen and really hear what is being said, don’t just walk away, but stay and contribute to a solution.

Wow! These words sound great, but we all know we talk a good game, but the proof is in the pudding.  Can I make a difference? I don’t know ..I hope I can.

I have felt empowered during this campaign,realizing, that women are still being considered less than a man.  I don’t understand how so many women feel that they are being treated equal, and voted for only one issue.  I found myself making a list of the issues and rating them according to importance.  Many came in #1, but the top issues were always around freedom of choice and equal opportunity, not only abortion, but salaries, healthcare, all life choices for women.

Imagine being on a world women’s  champion soccer team and being paid less than the men’s soccer team (not champions) .  The Women’s team flies to their games in coach , the Men’s team flies first class.  This is not right.  Women are equal!! in every occupation, and in every airplane flight.

Look at your salary in your occupation.  Are you being paid the same if you were a man?  You usually say, I am happy, they appreciate me, I don’t want to make waves, accept their verbal praises, accept that the pay never changes, you are not to be that woman, act like a bitch. Believe me, I have done it. We as women have always done it.  There are some women that are being paid what they deserve.  How did they do that?  I know how,  hard, hard, work.  They persevere through challenges, proved themselves as worthy.  They are the ground breakers for all the young women with dreams.

I hope I can find my passion and persevere to success.

Oh,  before I forget, Botox can help with that re-inventing yourself !! GO GIRLS!

I am sitting in the truck watching flickering lights moving quickly across the fields.  Flashlights on their heads, flashlights in their hands, walking up and down the rolls of venders in hope to find the most valuable treasure that’s ever been selected. Rushing to pick it up before anyone’s finds it. It’s still dark,  they run to beat each other for the find.  Collectors, flippers, merchants, hoarders, they come in all different shapes,sizes. After the sun comes up, another group will start arriving, tire kickers, bargain hunters, hipsters, others bored, looking for something to do, spend a Sunday amazed about the many pieces of collectibles that people bring.

Its hard work, being a vendor at the flea market. It is not simple or easy,  one of the most tiring activity you will do.  First,  you must select what you want to sell (in other words, what you want to give up and possibly lose forever), that’s when the struggle begins.  The sorting of “stuff” sweaters together, pants, leather from cloth coats, bowls, light fixtures, shoes, boots, purses, it never stops, only when the truck is full.

Watch  the weather,  get the perfect location, set up the tables, presentation is everything.  Now, we just wait.. and not for long. 2, 3, 4 and more shoppers appear at once.  How much for this?  What would you take for this?  I don’t know, what do you think?? Will it fit? Would you take $$ ,  let us think about it..we love it!  That routine would  go on for hours.  Great sales, things sold that was a surprise!  What a day!! Exhausted, but pleased.  Extra cash, big hug and a high five.

Lets go get a Steak!!!!